Doin' It Gypsy Style
by Melpomene of Tragic Olympus
Summary: Clopin and friends are preparing for the Festival of Fools. This year is extra special because Esme's cousins from Rome are coming to Paris, much to the chagrin of Phoebus and Clopin. Slight AU, Rated M for language, violence, sex and so on.
1. Enter Fire and Water

Dawn in Paris.

Not many places can boast a wonderful sunrise, especially to the eyes of forgeiners. Many would say that you could never see a more beautiful, nor awe inspiring sunrise than in _Gay Paree._ It was the thing, according to the Parisians, that inspired painters, that gave new hope to fighting lovers, that made Paris what it was. This dawn was no exception. This day was January 4th. Two days before the Feast of Fools. Judge Claude Frollo had been deceased for seven years and the predujical fence between the people of Paris and the Gypsies had been crumbling at a rapid rate over the last seven years.

A bright sun greeted Parisian and Gypsy alike as the tradesmen of the city went about their businesses. Bakers were churning out baugettes to the morning bells ringing from _Notre Dame_. The cafes were abuzz with gossiping Parisian women as they smiled, listening to the bells of _Notre Dame._ Bluebirds were landing on windowsills as the bells sang their last chime of the morning. Above in the cathedral, Madelline watched the bustling below with three very animated gargoyles; Victor, Hugo, and Laverne.

"I love mornings in Paris," Madelline sighed, resting her chin in her hands.

"Feh," scoffed Laverne.  
"Its the same routine every day. The smell of baugettes and the gossip from _La Petit Cafe_. The gypsies doing the same song and dance for the same coins. Paris has become too routine."

"Don't say that," said Quasimodo as he jumped down from the bell platform, blushing as Madelline greeted him with a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Sure, Paris is becoming a tad routine, but what can we do about it?"

Before Laverne could answer, the bleating of a familiar goat was heard coming up the stairs, followed by the laughter of a little boy and a grown man and woman. In walked the talented gypsy dancer La Esmerelda and her husband Phoebus Chateaupers and their son Zephyr. The trio greeted Quasimodo and Madelline and young Zephyr and Djali danced circles around the now inanimte statues.

"_Bonjour,_ you two," Esmerelda chuckled, watching her son and her faithful goat dance.

"_Bonjour, La Esmerelda,_" both said in unison.

Phoebus shook his head and laid down a basket of goodies, muttering something to Esmerelda. Esmerelda's brows furrowed as she mouthed a string of curses at Phoebus. Zephyr, oblivious to the silent bickering of his parents, bounced right up to Quasimodo and Madelline and spilled what the adults seemingly couldn't say:

"Hey _Oncle _Quasi, _Tante_ Maddie, _Cousine_ Clopin is a scaredy cat," he giggled, amused by the looks on everyone's faces.

"What do you mean?" Asked Madelline.

"_Maman's_ _cousine_ from _Italie_ is coming with her gypsy troupe. _Cousine_ Clopin said its a big gypsy reunion!"

"_Oui,_" sighed Esmerelda. "Poor cousin is a bit of a fraidy cat when it comes to our Italian counterparts. Moreso, the fact that their leader is a female."

"That's a shame," chuckled Phoebus, his chuckling subsiding from the molten look Esmerelda was giving him.

"What's a shame about a woman running a family?"

"Nothing, dear."

"Except _La Boule de Feu_ is mean," whispered Zephyr to Quasimodo.

"She is not mean, she's just..."

"Over-bearing," snorted Phoebus.  
"Pushy, bossy, dictator-like, a real..._Ow!_" Dark emerald eyes were ablaze as Esmerelda swung her tambourine at his head again. The cymbals on the tambourine jingled as they made contact with his head, making the poor man's eyes cross. Turning back to Quasimodo and Madelline, she flashed them an apologetic smile.

"_Pardonnez_," she chuckled, walking the group out into the morning sun. "My_ cousine_ isn't the horrid monster my _amour_ makes him out to be. It's just that she and Clopin don't get along because he, like my husband, seems to think a woman can't handle the job as head of a gypsy family."

"I think anybody can run a family," said Madelline. "I just happen to think that just because there's a male as the head of a family, that doesn't mean that there isn't a woman in the shadows making sure he doesn't mess it up."

"I agree," Esmerelda said with a nod.

"Of course you would, _La Esmerelda,_" came a melodic laugh.

Clopin appeared before them, children in tow. He'd just finished his first story when the children heard the commotion and brought it to his attention, asking about the visiting gypsies from Italy and why they had a female in charge. Clopin tried his best to answer as honestly and as humourously as he could, but couldn't bare it by himself anymore, so he set about involving his friends.

"_Mes amis, mes enfants,_ in two days, we host the biggest _Festival of Fools _that Paris has ever seen! For in two days, there will be not one, but TWO Masters of Ceremonies, AND not one, but TWO dancers for your enjoyment!"

"Is _La Boule de Feu_ going to dance, _Cousine_ Clopin?" asked Zephyr.

"_Non. La Boule de Feu _is co-hosting this years Festival. Her sister _La Ombre de L'eau_ will be dancing with our very own _La Esmerelda_," he said to the growing crowd, who cheered at his good news.

"The Fireball and the Water Shadow?" scoffed Phoebus. "What ridiculous nicknames. Don't these girls have any actual names?"

"Of course they do," cried Clopin. "_La Boule de Feu _is Jada, and _La Ombre de L'eau_ is Fiora."

"They're twins?"

"Nooooo...they're Siamese pine trees," Clopin said with an eyeroll.

"Smartass," huffed Phoebus.

"You asked," Clopin chuckled as a young boy ran to him, yelling his name and waiving a piece of paper in front of him.

"_Monseiur _Clopin! This letter arrived for you this morning," the boy panted as Esmerelda handed the boy some water. Clopin opened the letter, scanning its contents quietly, until...

"_Sacre bleu! Mon Dieu! C'est impossible!"_

"Whats the mattter, Clopin?" asked Quasimodo.

"Its from Fiora. My Italian is a little rusty, but according to this, they'll be here..."

"_Buongiorno, la mia famiglia!_" cried Fiora, running to Esmerelda, hugging her tightly as Jada came up behind her with 10 of their brethren.

"_Bonjour, Fiora! Bonjour, Jada!_" cried Esmerelda.

"...Now.." Finished Clopin as he turned to face the head of the Italian gypsies.

"Quasi, Madelline, Phoebus, this is the Queen of the Gypsies of Rome. I present _La Boule de Feu,_ Jada Antoine, and her sister, Fiora."

Both girls stood side by side, looking to each other, then smiled shyly as they curtsied to the others.

"_Buongiorno,_ we are pleased to meet the friends of our Parisian counterparts," they said in unison.

"_Cugino Esmerelda_," said Fiora, "Is the blonde next to you your _schiavo_?"

"_Non,_" laughed Esme, "He's my husband."

"Poor you," scoffed Jada, who was now standing by Clopin.

"What's a..._schiavo?_" Phoebus asked.

"Polietly put, my servant," chuckled Esmerelda.

"Bull, _Cugino_," hissed Jada. "_Schiavo _is slave."

"Slave?! I am no damned slave!" screeched Phoebus.

"Darling, shut up," chuckled Esmerelda.

"Slave," the twins said in unison, making Esme, Madelline and Clopin fall over laughing as Phoebus seething in blind anger.

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A/N: I've been planning this story for a while. This has some aspects of the book and the Disney movie. I did as much studying as I could and I will be including my research in the author's notes at the bottom of every chapter, plus the translations for each word or phrase that isnt in English.

_Cousine/Cugino_- Cousin  
_Oncle-_ Uncle  
_Tante-_ Aunt  
_Schiavo-_ Slave/Servant  
_Bonjour/Buongiorno _- Hello/Good Morning  
_La Boule de Feu_- Fireball  
_La Ombre de L'eau_ - Water Shadow

I'll go into more detail of the twins and the Italian gypsies in the upcoming chapters, and this is a ClopinxOC story with slight QuasixMaddie and EsmexPhoeb. And it features...a _surprise!_ -Gasp- Let's just say...evil returns.

_A Bientot._


	2. Accommodations and Apathy

It was nearing nightfall and Clopin was in the process of packing up his cart. Jada was at his side helping him pack up. Fiora was chasing Phoebus around with a vase. A glimpse of the sight had both gypsies laughing. When the cart was packed and the mule, Adele, fed, the group climbed in, heading for the Court of Miracles.

_"_Jada, _ma belle_, how are things in Rome?"

"Good. Romans are far more civil to us than the Parisians seem to be."

"Give them time,_ chatonne,_ the French are notoriously stubborn," he chuckled.

"I see that. Ah...by the way, did you recieve Aloysius's letter?"

"Unfortunately," he chuckled. "I must admit, I'm surprised he married. Seems like the wedding bug is more potent than the plague was."

"Indeed," Jada said with a nod. "Ah, Clopin, that reminds me, I have something of yours."

"_Quoi?_"

She began rummaging through the bag she'd brought with her, her fiery red hair falling over her face, a constrast to her peach-complexioned skin. Hazel hues flashed several times in anger as she let a slew of curses leave her lips until she found what she was looking for.

"Aha! Here it is!"

A triumphant smile crossed her features as she handed Clopin a red-leather bound book.

"Aloysius's diary?!" Clopin gasped. "Why are you giving it to me?"

"It was Alo's last wish. Supposedly, there's a letter in there meant for your eyes only. I was asked by his widow to deliver it."

"_Mon Dieu._ How is Kaelin doing?"

"Mad as a hornet, but doing what she does best, surviving."

Clopin gave a silent nod as the cart entered the tunnel to the Court of Miracles. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Jada silently shiver as they passed the dank tunnel of bones and earth. He knew that the sight of the dead frightened her, though she'd gotten better at hiding it.

"_Chatonne,_ I apologize for the scare, but its the only safe way into our camp. Despite our biggest threat being dispatched to hell, we still have few that despise us."

"I know, I heard the gossip of the death of the Judge, but...How do you know he's really dead?"

"He fell into molten copper, Jada. Hard to survive that."

"Hmph. The prescence of evil doesn't die," she hissed. "The body it inhabits may die, but the presence doesn't."

"Death is death, _chatonne_," he said with a shrug.

"You two sound like an old married couple," taunted Phoebus as the mule stopped just shy of the gypsy guards guarding the entrance to the Court.

"_Contadino insolente,_" Fiora muttered.

"What did she call me?" Phoebus asked.

"You don't want to know," Clopin chuckled as he assisted his friends out of the cart.  
"I wasnt expecting everyone so soon, so arrangments still aren't in order."

"Fiora can bunk with me and Zephyr," chimed Esmerelda as Phoebus scowled.

"And I'm sure the others will want to bunk with friends," Fiora mused.  
"That leaves you, Sister. Where will your head lay?"

"I'm sure I'll do just fine -"

"With me," Clopin finished for her.

"_Oh mio Dio, io non credo che questo!_" Fiora laughed, shaking her head.  
"Clopin, you're letting Sister stay with you?"

"_Oui._ We are both family heads. It makes the most sense, does it not?"

"I'd rather bunk with Adele," Jada huffed.  
"I'd be in better company. Adele, at least, is intelligent."

A slight twitch befell Clopin's dark hue as he stood his full height, looming over his female counterpart, serious and unnegotionable tones emitting from his lips.

"_Maintenant écoutez ici crétin, je l'ai dit vous restez avec moi. Je suis le roi ici et c'est mon mot qui est droit. Maintenant, allez mettre vos choses-là._"

"Well, if you insist," she said, flashing him a victorious smirk before turning on her heel and heading for his cabin, humming to herself.

"What just happened?" asked Esmerelda.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say she just pulled his leg," chuckled Phoebus, shaking his head.

"She goaded him into anger?" questioned Madelline, tilting her head.

Quasimodo simply shrugged as they recieved an empty cabin, belonging to the old healer that had recently passed.

"Insufferable wretch," Clopin muttered as he stomped off to his cabin, with Phoebus and Esme not too far behind.

"Just like old times, eh?" giggled Esmerelda.

"_Oui._ I have a feeling this is going to be a long experience."

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A/N: Two chapters in one day! I love my muse. :D I'm going to see if I can make it three. Next chapter goes more in depth into the lives of the Italian gypsies.

_Chatonne-_ Kitten

_Maintenant écoutez ici crétin, je l'ai dit vous restez avec moi. Je suis le roi ici et c'est mon mot qui est droit. Maintenant, allez mettre vos choses-là.-_ Now listen here you twit, I said you are staying with me. I am king here and its my word that is law. Now go put your things away.

_Oh mio Dio, io non credo che questo!_ - Oh my god, I don't believe this!

_Contadino insolente- _Insolent peasant (Note: Technically, a _contadino_ is a farmer, but in the timeline of the story, farmers were considered peasants as well. Basically, if you werent nobility, you were a peasant.)

A Bientot.


	3. Before the Arrival

The Papal States Capital: Rome  
Three weeks before the voyage to Paris.

"Savoys...I am so sick of these fucking Savoys," hissed Fiora as she paced the cabin she shared with her sister. "I wish we could burn all of them. They're making things worse."

"I know, Sister," Jada sighed.

"We need to leave. Go somewhere. _Anywhere._"

"Where? We can't go anywhere without permission from the Pope. And you know we can't leave Rome without arousing suspicion."

"I bet I know we can," Fiora whispered. "Lets ask Leo to sneak us out."

"Da Vinci? Are you mad, Fiora? Ask Leo Da Vinci to sneak us out of Rome? To where? Where would we go?"

"Paris, Sister!"

"Paris?"

"_Si!_ Paris! We can go visit Esmeralda! Besides, we are but a small group of 10, Jada. I'm sure the King of Gypsies in Paris will do the Queen of the Gypsies in Rome a due by honoring us with room and board."

"That's abusing the privileges of the title, Fiora. Even Esmerelda's ruler, goofy as she tells me he is, wouldn't do that."

"We have to try, Sister. We can't stay here. You know the Papacy is going to have us executed once the Savoys gain control. Jada, I know you are the head of our family, but please, you know in your heart we have to leave... _Madre_ would want us to."

Sighing heavily, Jada thought of the head of the family before her, her mother Dominique, and closed her eyes. She knew Fiora was right. Rome was becoming dangerous, and she knew the same group she had in her care couldn't survive any longer in the hands of the Papacy, much less the Savoys, should they gain full control. Pushing two fingertips into her temples, she swore in her native language and turned to face Fiora.

"Round the others and send a messenger for Da Vinci. We'll leave as soon as we can."

Fiora nodded furiously and ran off to do as she was told. Sighing heavily, Jada sat at her table, quill in hand and parchment before her. While the stigma of illiteracy concerning gypsies had been for the most part true, she and Fiora were a rare kind in Rome as they were the only ones in all the Duchies to be able to read and write. Jada knew though that both Esmé and Clopin carried the same skills she had, though both hid it very well. Resisting the urge to slam her head into her desk, she took the quill to parchment and began writing.

"_Dear Esmé,  
It has been a long time since you and I have seen each other and I'd like to remedy that.  
We need to catch up and continue our talks like before. So, I have decided to bring my tribe to Paris to celebrate the Festival of Fools. Besides, it'd do good to see Clopin, too. I miss the old buffoon._

_Love,_  
_Jada_."

Calling for an errand boy, she slipped him a pouch of Lira and told him to make sure the message got to _Notre Dame_ in Paris as soon as humanly possible. The boy smiled and promised he'd deliver it before they arrived and dashed off to catch the first carriage out of Rome to Paris, since messengers were allowed safe travel if accompanying a diplomat, and Jada knew the boy was the son of one of the Savoy staff, and that one of the Savoys would be traveling to Paris to speak to the King about the handling of the gypsies. It was perfect.

Letting her self-satisfied smug smirk stay on her face, she kicked back in her chair as her sister dashed into the room, Leonardo not far behind her, wearing a smug smile of his own.

"Leonardo," Jada said ruefully.

"_Signora_ Jada," Leonardo said with a slight nod of his cranium.  
"I understand your kind are in need of an escape from Rome to Paris, _Si?_"

"My 'kind'? _Signor _Da Vinci, you may be a great mind of this Renaissance, but your manners are akin to even the brutish savages of those that surround us. You may please take your help and shove it up your _grasso sporco dietro_. Good day, _Signor_ Da Vinci," Jada snarled, turning her back to the famed inventor and painter. Leonardo scowled, grabbing her arm and forcing her to face him, which turned out to be a grave mistake, for when he spun her around, his face met her fist, and a red welt swelled grew under his eye.

"You bitch. _Spero che si bruciano nelle fiamme dell'inferno!_" He swore, holding his battered eye.

"_È suina! Prego i testicoli cadere e che i vostri aggeggi si uccide lentamente! Maledico il tuo nome di famiglia! Io sputo sulla tua immagine! Spero che Satana stesso che la sua cagna fa!_ Get out, Da Vinci, before I slaughter you myself!"

Neither moved an inch, and just when it seemed like bloodshed was imminent, both parties erupted in laughter. Da Vinci pulled a document from his pocket and handed it to Jada, wiping tears from his eyes.

"_Signora, _I hope Paris does not make you lose that fiery temper. I hope someday you return to Rome, or maybe come by Florence."

"Feh, Savoy territory. Bite me, Da Vinci. I'd rather watch Michelangelo's paint dry in the Sistine Chapel than visit a Duchy that smells of the foul Savoys," she chuckled. "Paris will be kind. We have family there. Now, thank you for your help, and please leave before I make good on my threat."

Da Vinci said not a word as he turned and exited the small cabin. Sighing heavily, Jada handed the document to Fiora and poured herself a glass of wine, courtesy of the Papal Communion. January 6th was coming fast and the _Festival of Fools_ would take on a whole new meaning.

"Look out, _Gay Paree_, there's a Romani tornado heading your way..."

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A/N: Ok, so I realize I goofed on the first two chapters, but kept them as historically accurate as I could. I forgot that Italy wasn't united til sometime in the 1800's and that HoND took place in the 15th century, when Italy was still divided into Duchies. -Sigh- Fuck me. My brain only works half the time. Anyway, when you get down to brass tacks of it all; Florence, Rome, Parma, etc, it's all Italian in the end, so who cares, right?

_Signor _Sir, Mister

_Signora_- Miss

_È suina! Prego i testicoli cadere e che i vostri aggeggi si uccide lentamente! Maledico il tuo nome di famiglia! Io sputo sulla tua immagine! Spero che Satana stesso che la sua cagna fa!_ - You swine! I pray your testicles fall off and that your own contraptions kill you slowly! I curse your family name! I spit on your image! I hope Satan himself makes you his bitch.

_Spero che si bruciano nelle fiamme dell'inferno- _I hope you burn in the flames of hell

_grasso sporco dietro_- Greasy, dirty ass (behind)

:D

A Bientot


	4. Banter Before Bedtime

Paris at night.

It had been some time since the group had arrived at the Court of Miracles, and tensions were still high. Jada and Clopin were watching the interactions between Jada's small clan and Clopin's much larger group. Both could hear the idle gossip of the women and the cold stares of the men as her small group huddled to themselves under the disconcerting gazes of the others.

"Even in a place like Paris, amongst our own kin, we are ridiculed," Jada scoffed.  
"I thought the gypsies of Paris were more tolerant than that. Has years of prejudice by the people of France not taught them anything?"

"Give them time to adjust," said Clopin.

"Feh...let them have their prejudices. No matter where we go, it doesn't change. Fear of difference is something that cannot be overcome," Jada said, a scowl on her face.

"Fiora seems to think differently. I remember when we were kids, how we all talked of-"

"Fiora is an idiot. She's a dreamer. And you're talking of childhood,Clopin. It's the past. It was nice to dream about as a kid, but we're adults now. The world isn't sunshine and rainbows and chirping, happy birds like my twit of a sister seems to think it is."

"Dominique, may the angel rest in peace with our sweet Mother Mary, thought like Fiora did," Clopin replied, laying back on the grass, hands behind his head.

"Don't you _ever_ mention _mia madre_ like that! Mother was influenced by that _vergognoso truffatore_ that dared to call himself _mio padre_," she spat, slamming her fist into the ground.  
"It was _his_ ideals and dreams that got _mia madre_ burned at the stake, and yet he walks free somewhere in Europe," she scoffed as she laid down next to him, on her stomach, head resting in her hands.

"Jada, _ma petit_, you're letting resentment cloud the happy, sweet girl that Esmerelda and I remember. You're too cynical," he said, extending a hand her direction and poking her arm. "You don't smile anymore."

"Why should I? Look around you, Clopin. Do you not see the masks those around you wear? Do you not think for one honest second that a single soul around you wouldn't sell you to the first gypsy hunter for even a minuscule _chance_ to be normal?"

"_Oui, chatonne_, I know this," Clopin said, tilting his hat over his eyes.  
"I may pretend to be a fool, but I'm far from one. But, I don't let matters like that stop me from protecting my people from those that wish to do us harm. Deceit and prejudice are no reason to abandon the titles we were given, _ma chere_. We were chosen for these roles because we have what our predecessors didn't, the wisdom to see beyond the present and into the future."

"Hmph. _Tio_ Trumane would love that ball of gibberish you just spit out. Honestly, Clopin, you don't believe a word of that tripe, do you?"

"Stop being so cynical, will you? _Chatonne_, you cannot be a slave to your past. You cannot let the way the people in the Roman Duchy have treated you cloud the open mind you used to have."

"You're just as much a fool as Fiora," she groaned, laying her head on her arms.  
"How did you ever succeed _Signor Pietro_ as head of the gypsies of Paris?"

"I sang better than him," he said, raising his hat to look at her with a stone serious face.

"You...what? Oh please tell me you're joking..."

"Of course I am, _ma petit,_" he said, cracking up laughing at the look on her face.  
"I succeeded Pierre because he chose me to. He had no heirs of his own and somebody had to take over."

"Quasimodo there would seem a better ruler than you, Clopin," she muttered.

"_Mademoiselle, _you wound me with your harsh words," Clopin said, grasping his chest in a dramatic fashion and flailing about in the grass.

Jada rolled her eyes as he sat up, holding his sides in laughter.

"You're _soooo_ funny, Clopin," she snorted.

"And you need to learn to live a little, _ma chatonne_," he said with a smile.

"Stop calling me _mia gattino_, Clopin. I am not your _gattino_, I am a _l'uccello di fuoco_," she retorted, making Clopin roll his eyes.

"_Cherie_, you are not _l'oiseau de feu_ anymore than I am King of France. _  
_ _Non, madameoiselle,_ you are indeed _ma petite chatonne_," he said, ruffling her bright red hair with his hand as he stood.

"_Sciocco insopportabile_," she chuckled, standing as well.

"A fool, maybe. Insufferable? Hardly. Plently of people suffer my foolishness and pay me well for it, _cherie_."

"Then you're grossly overpaid for inferior work," she said, raising her eyebrows.

"We will see come the Festival of Fools, won't we?"  
"Indeed we shall, my friend, indeed we shall."

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A/N: This wasn't the original chapter I had in mind. Stupid wordpad refused to save the chapter and my laptop crashed, so this was my back-up idea.  
Hope it suits everyone. Next chapter focuses on the return of the villian I mentioned. Mwahaha!

Oh and I forgot my copyright stuffs:

HoND is property of Victor Hugo and Walt Disney.  
Everything else is owned by me :D

_Sciocco insopportable-_ Insufferable fool  
_L'uccello di fuoco/ _ _L'oiseau de feu_- The Firebird.  
_Ma petite chatonne_- My little kitten  
_Mia madre, mio padre_- My mother, my father

A Bientot


End file.
